Oh, just another night...in the prefects bathroom
by Cali
Summary: Let's just say Draco Malfoy's evning didn't turn out normal.


Draco had expected that Friday to be just normal.   
Going to lessons, taunting Gryffindors, puke by the sight of Goyle and Crabbe dancing in their pink underwear, and taking a bath at midnight.  
It did, however, not turn out normal.  
The clock was nearing midnight when somebody suddenly entered the prefects' bathroom.  
Hermione Granger.

"Get out of here Granger!"  
"No, I can't, I have a date in half an hour!"  
"Why don't you just use the other bathroom, the one on the fifth floor?"  
"Oh, I could use it. If I had a great desire to see Terry Boot and Mandy Brocklehurst doing some underwater dirty-dancing."  
She shuddered, and he frowned at her.  
"What? You didn't think ugly people had sex?"  
She shook he head.  
"I wasn't thinking of that, just...Patrick Swayze in a wet T-shirt."  
"Eeeew! Damnit Granger, do you know what kind of mental images you just gave me?"  
"But could you PLEASE just get finished and let me use it? I'm meeting Ron in half an hour."  
"Ouh, date with the Weasel, have we?"  
"Yes. So please? Just get behind that screen and get dressed. I won't peak."  
"Oh yeah? And how do I know that you filthy mudblood don't have a great craving to see my body?"  
"Take my word for it, Malfoy, I've already seen everything worth seeing, or shall we say, not worth seeing." She smirked. "Next time, try using some more bubbles."  
She turned around and faced the wall, giggling. Draco looked down, and wished he could disappear. He was about to say something about the cold water, but suddenly remembered she was just a mudblood.  
He got up, wrapped a towel around his waist, and went behind the screen to change.  
He did not, however, just picked his clothes of the ground.  
Then..

"Malfoy? Are you still here?"  
He didn't answer, just peaked through the screen. She was starting to get undressed, and soon, she was standing there in just her black g-string, and a black bra with laces.  
"Ouh, Granger, I did not know muggles had that kind of underwear. Who would have thought, Hermione Granger, so hot you'd burn yourself?" he whispered. She stopped, and looked around.   
"No, go on!" Draco whispered fiercely.  
But at that moment, somebody opened the door. Hermione grabbed her clothes, and ran behind the screen. She gasped at the sight of Draco, but said nothing.   
However, someone else did.

"Oh my god, this place is great, Fred! How did you find it?" Angelina's voice echoed in the room.  
"Oh, just blackmailed Percy. Did you know he collected magazines?"  
"Did you bring the vodka?"  
"Yes. Is the tub ready?"  
"Yes. Now, turn around."  
"Ouh, baby! Are those rea-"  
"Clothes off."  
"I love it when you talk dirty, Angelina."  
"Shut up and take your clothes off."  
Draco peaked around the screen, and saw the two quidditch players having a go in the bathtub. Hermione dragged him back.  
"What the hell are you doing?"  
He was about give her a rude answer, but was interrupted by a moaning voice.  
"I hope you have protection!"  
"Moaning Myrtle! Just what the fuck are you doing here?" Angelina screamed.  
"You were going to have sex!" The ghost pointed a silvery finger at the two of them in the bathtub.  
"No, we weren't!" Fred exclaimed.  
"Not? That just great, talk about sex in front of the poor girl who died a virgin! (at this, Fred shot in something about to much information) Do people even consider my feelings? Noo, I'm just another ghost to you-"

Knowing Moaning Myrtle, Draco knew that if an interruption wouldn't come at that point, she would go on and on. Luckily, or should we say, unluckily, someone decided to enter the prefects bathroom right then.  
Professor Lupin. Followed by Colin and Dennis Creevey, and three other secondyears.  
"What is all this noise? Another student out of bed at this time of hour?"   
He caught sight of Fred and Angelina, and so did the children.  
"Oh, professor, can I take a picture of this?" Colin Creevey got his camera up.  
Lupin shook his head, and threw the camera, together with some blue powder, into the fireplace.  
"Professor McGonnogall's office!" he yelled. But instead of a picture of the strict teacher's office, one could see directly into the Gryffindor Common room, which was empty, except for a certain redhead.  
Fred choked on the cheap vodka he was drinking.

"Ginny! What ARE you doing with that broom?" he yelled.  
"Yes," Angelina joined in, "what are you doing, using a broom. They just leave you all sore. A candle is much better."  
There was a moment of silence. Then, Ginny spoke with her soft voice.  
"It is?"  
The picture disappeared.  
"I think I'll just go get professor McGonnogall the old fashioned way, while you two get up," Lupin said, and ushered the secondyears out of the door.   
They did, however, not leave the room, because a soft, deadly voice cut through their babble.

"What is going on here?"  
Draco recognised the voice.  
Professor Snape.  
"Erm..."  
"Well.."  
"We were just.."  
"Oh, look Angelina, there's a beetle in your hair," Fred said casually.  
"Where, where?" Angelina shrieked, and threw her head around. The beetle loot go of the hair, and took a flight. It landed on the floor in front of Snape, where it emitted a bright light, before turning into a blonde woman with foul glasses.  
She looked annoyed, while Snape looked downright astonished,  
"Rita?"  
The woman (whom Draco recognised as Rita Skeeter) face lit up with joy.  
"Sevie?"  
He smiled, and offered her a helping hand. She got up.  
"I didn't think I would see you again."  
"Neither did I, but I kept the remainders of our relationship." She held out a wrist. "Look, I still have the handcuffs."  
"And I still have the whip."  
At this point, poor Dennis Crevey fainted.

"Uooooooiiiiii!!!"   
Everybody turned around, and saw tiny professor Flitwick coming flying through the window.  
"Oh, sorry everybody!" he said, being his usual, cheerful self, "don't mind me! Hagrid and I were just practising some midget-throwing. It's an organised sport, you know."  
He got up, and ran out the door, his last words being; "Oh, and remember Fred, swish and flick, swish and flick! That's the boy!"  
Silence.  
Then, Lupin cleared his throat.  
"Well, I guess we'll all just go to bed now."  
Fred coughed, a bad camouflage for a laughter. Lupin went red.  
"Although not with each other. That's a Hufflepuff thing."  
And when things just couldn't get worse, the last thing in the world expected to happened, did.

  
A swirling wortax appeared, and out of it came..  
"John Cleese?" Lupin said, amazed.  
"No!" Cleese crowed, "we are the Spanish inquisition!"  
"Oh no, the Spanish inquisition! That's the last thing I expected!" tiny Dennis Creevey replied.  
"Nobody ever expects the Spanish inquisition!" Cleese bellowed. "We have one weapon; surprise and fear! I mean, we have to weapons surprise, fear and-"  
"Well, we don't need your long ranting now, so," Lupin flicked his wand, "goodbye!"  
Then, he turned and surveyed everyone in the room.  
"Ok, who conjured up the Spanish inquisition?"  
'I did', Draco mouthed, which sent Hermione into a fit of silent giggles. She struggled so hard not to laugh, she lost balance, and fell backwards, dragging Draco with her.  
The screen they had been hiding behind, fell down, and Draco fell on top of Hermione.

So there they were, Hermione dressed in her underwear, and Draco clad in nothing but a towel. Everybody stared at them.  
And with everybody, I mean Lupin, Angelina, Fred, George, Snape, Rita, the Creevey-brothers, Moaning Myrtle, AND Harry, who had decided to take a midnight flight with his girlfriend, Cho. She did, however, fall off the broom at takeoff, because she was to absorbed with her make-up. Not that Harry noticed, though.  
Draco felt a blush rise on his cheeks. 

"Erm...hi?"

__

A/N: Hey, don't blame me! Blame my hormones!


End file.
